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Sunday, 6 November 2011

WHY?

Why good time sprint fast & bad time struck with you for long time. Sometimes you work hard but you get less & sometimes you work less & get more. I remember sometimes ago when my time was going with happy pace I didn’t need to work hard, most of time I was spending my time resting at home but now I am working hard but can’t getting more. All the doors of opportunity are closed for me now :( why?  I think The Life circle use to change from good time to bad time & vice versa. I think in my life I get huge sharp turns. Roads of my journey were never smooth. Life is so much unexpected sometimes you get what you never expect. You must ready for big adventures. Well today is also going bad for me because my family is on holiday & I have to prepare my lunch, I am cooking maggi but again my mind saying why are you cooking maggi? Eat some healthy nutrients so I make up my mind & called restaurant jyoti to order paneer tikka & butter roti. This “WHY” fade up me but this “WHY” have many benefits as well. I remember In my science book one paragraph fascinate me most that was we must have analytic mind, we must have answer of why, if you do any experiment in lab or anything strange happen around you, you must have answer that why is it happening? “Why” is most interesting word. my inner soul use to ask me why are you wasting your precious time, the whole world is running fast, run fast or you will be left behind & always I have to pretend myself that I can’t run fast, I am not getting opportunities but I know they all are only excuses, I still can’t find answer why the world is running so much fast & I remaining last. Why am I such a big looser??? I memorized I was happy when I was in my 10th standard, I shifted from village to Delhi & I have no expectations in my life, in my 9th standard I got only 48%(Rajasthan board) & just after 9th I shifted in Delhi I never realized that I ever pass in my board exams. I used to read books not for getting good marks in exams but for extend my knowledge. I never expect so much from me as people use to prejudice & discourage me that how a boy came from a village getting 48% marks in 9th standard will pass in Delhi CBSE board exams. I too did never expect much from me. the whole year gone excellent as I never so much tense about my future & my exams, I think that was the happiest time of my life I got that year 78% marks after then my expectations go higher day by day & it collapse on me. Now I am not happy from my life because I have so many expectations from myself that I am frustrated that they will not easily fulfill. My ambitions are high but I can’t do anything, actually I wanted to be specialist in a particular field. I wanted to be a greatest scientist like Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton, I wanted to be a greatest politician like Benjamin Franklin or George Washington, I wanted to be a greatest cricketer like Sachin Tendulker or Brian Lara, I wanted to be a richest businessman like Bill Gates or Mukesh Ambani, I wanted to be a greatest writer like J.K. Rowling or William Shakespeare, I wanted to be a greatest social activist like Mahatma Gandhi, Ram Mohan Roy or Mother Teresa but I didn’t become a greatest personality like them. I wanted to be something special in public herd, but I didn’t reach there, again my mind ask me …Why,why,why…???? But I have no answer, I am totally answerless. Just saying myself that now I am trying hard to be a special one in the human swarm.

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